KICKING AND SCREAMING:
A man leaving home in the wee hours of the morning allegedly had his car kicked by a passerby at an intersection near to his residence. According to deputy reports, the incident took place at 5:30 a.m. on April 18. The victim stopped at a red light in his black car and a 20-year-old pedestrian took issue with the car. The pedestrian walked up to the driver’s side and said, “(Expletive) your car. Come on, get out of your car,” before unleashing a punch to the window and kick to the door. The driver zoomed off when the light turned green and dialed 9-1-1 but looped back around the block near Reynolds Avenue and 9th Street to try to keep a visual on the surly suspect. Dispatch, however, advised him to drive away and not risk another encounter with the kicker.

One deputy met the driver on Via Real while others rounded up a suspect near 5th Street at Holly Avenue. Deputies examined the vehicle and found dents that the driver estimated to add up to over $1,000 in damage. Deputies then escorted the driver to the suspect, whom he positively identified as the alleged car kicker. Upon arrest, the car kicker denied any connection to the incident. However, deputies believed fresh black marks on the front of the man’s sneakers matched the marred paint on the victim’s vehicle.

SENTIMENTAL WEAPONS:
A man pulled over for having a tinted front window ended up being cited for possession of marijuana and an illegal butterfly knife, which he bemoaned having to part with. The deputy first spotted the tinted ride just after midnight on April 10 on Casitas Pass Road. After trailing the vehicle, the deputy made a traffic stop at a Carpinteria Avenue motel for the vehicle code violation. The man, who admitted to being on probation, confessed to having a freshly packed marijuana pipe in the vehicle. A deeper search uncovered more marijuana inside of a pill bottle and the butterfly knife. When told it was illegal to possess the knife and it would be confiscated, the man, 38, reportedly said, “Ah man, my butterfly knife? I’ve had that since I was a kid.” He was cited and released for the alleged crimes.

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT:
Upon receiving reports of a woman screaming and crying in a residential neighborhood at 3 a.m. on April 28, deputies descended on the neighborhood to save the damsel in distress but learned her screams were not cries for help.

Reporting to the dark and quiet street, deputies first spoke with the man who had reported the disturbing yelps. Deputies heard an isolated squeal and then strolled around the corner from their position and observed a sweaty man near a garage dressed only in shorts. They asked the man, 20, if he knew anything about the screaming, and he told them it was his girlfriend screaming during consensual sexual intercourse.

Deputies asked to see the girlfriend, but the man replied that she was incapacitated. During the investigation, the man became agitated and attempted to order deputies off his property, but deputies insisted on seeing the woman, who they thought could have been harmed and incapacitated in a bad way. The man said she was sleeping and continued to be uncooperative, according to reports. Fearing the man was hiding the woman and was capable of inflicting the same type of incapacitation on them, deputies pointed a taser at the man, which made him comply.

The girlfriend then exited and corroborated the man’s story. Also, the man’s mother came out and told deputies she had knocked and told her son and his girlfriend to take it easy for fear that a neighbor would call the cops. Deputies were satisfied that the disturbance had run its course and documented the incident for their files.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Ocean View Avenue, Carpinteria Avenue (2), Casitas Pass Road, Carpinteria Avenue
Possession of opium/cocaine: Via Real
Public intoxication: Casitas Pass Road, Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: 8th Street, Carpinteria Avenue, Foothill Road, Callejon Drive, Arbol Verde
Under the influence of controlled substance: Carpinteria Avenue
Vandalism: 7th Street, Casitas Pass Road, Foothill Road
Warrant arrest: Carpinteria Avenue

QUICK CHANGE:
A Casitas Pass Road store reported that it had been victimized by a little sleight of hand in a cash counting scam perpetrated by a suspect who used a distraction tactic to short a clerk $200 in a $500 transaction on April 9.

The clerk reported that the man, who was estimated to be between 40 and 45 years old, asked for a $500 money order but at first handed over just $480. The money then went back to the customer’s hand, and he counted it out for the clerk. The man reportedly calculated the same insufficiency in the funding. To make up for the $20 he was short, the man appeared to add two more bills to the wad and handed over what the clerk thought was the correct amount.

Sometime after the man left, the clerk discovered that the pile had actually shrunk. The clerk suspected that when the man reshuffled the deck of dollars, he pocketed $180, resulting in only $300 being paid for the $500 money order. Deputies took a surveillance image of the man as evidence but had yet to track down a suspect.

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN:
A woman accused of cashing fraudulent checks from a former employer’s account told deputies that the money was owed to her for severance pay. And even though the employer said severance was never agreed upon, the suspect claimed the employer had dementia and would not remember striking the deal.

Deputies first learned of the alleged fraud from the employer, who said her housekeeper had cashed eight unauthorized checks for a total of $1,073 at a local bank. Personnel at the local bank had already begun investigating the transactions and stated that the check casher, 58, had been acting suspiciously.

The employer said the suspect was her longtime housekeeper who had stopped showing up last November, leading to her finding a replacement. After a five-week hiatus, the former housekeeper came back seeking work and also offered to house sit for a stretch in January, when she knew the former employer would be attending an annual conference. The deputy noted that the victim, 69, seemed spry and was employed at a job that she commuted to in Burbank several days a week.

The victim said she believed the suspect had pilfered the checks, which she later signed and cashed, several weeks prior when trespassing in the victim’s home. The new housekeeper had reported that the old housekeeper was caught in the home. The old housekeeper told the new housekeeper that she was there to use the shower since her plumbing was malfunctioning.

A deputy then phoned the suspect, with whom he was very familiar from extensive interactions in the past. At first the woman who answered the phone claimed to not be the suspect, but the deputy recognized her voice. The woman asked to take a detailed message, so she could forward it to the suspect, but the deputy was not fooled. He pressed the woman on her identity, and eventually the woman said, “Okay, let’s drop the pretenses. What’s going on?”

Questioned about being in the bank that day to cash a check from her former employer, she said she was only in the bank to pay a bill for her boyfriend. However, the bank employee had refused to cash the check that morning and handed it over to deputies. It had the former employer’s name on it.

The woman then said she had permission to cash the checks anyway. She claimed that she had been a caretaker for the former employer for 11 years, and the money was her severance pay. She did not specify how much severance or how many checks were included in the package. The employer suffered from Parkinsons and dementia, said the suspect. She would not remember agreeing to the severance package.

Asked if she was recently at the victim’s residence, the suspect said yes, to shower; the backdoor is always unlocked. Also, she had permission, but the victim would not remember granting it. The deputy forwarded the report to the district attorney’s office requesting check fraud charges.

COKE ON THE ROCKS:
A deputy patrolling a Carpinteria Avenue motel due to increased reports of drug activity found what he was looking for on April 16. A man and woman were found with 17.3 grams of crystal meth mixed with cocaine and a digital scale, among other illegal items.

The deputy first began investigating them for standing outside of a car with tinted windows and an exhaust pipe that appeared modified. The man, 27, informed deputies he was on parole for weapons charges, and the woman, 21, said she also was under some level of probation and was supposed to be seeking treatment for drugs. Interacting with the pair, deputies soon suspected they were under the influence of drugs and detained them.

Deputies recovered a scale, some used syringes, cash and an illegal knife from the vehicle and questioned the woman about why they possessed the items. The woman said that the man was soon to be off parole, and she did not want him caught up in this. She said it was all her. Since she was out of work, she began dealing drugs. The man was only a consultant, since she was a novice dealer, she said. He was mostly at home with his wife and kid and turned a “blind eye” to her dealing. The man invoked his right to remain silent.

Asked if she had anything else illegal on her while being arrested, the woman said yes, in her bra. Since no female officers were present, deputies had the woman shake her bra to see what fell out. First a small bag of suspected meth mixed with coke fell out along with a small bag of marijuana. Then the woman said there was more. She gave another shake and a larger bag of the meth/coke hit the ground. The woman’s urine tested positive for meth, coke, opiates, marijuana and benzodiazepines. They were both arrested for dealing and other lesser charges related to the contents of their vehicle and their blood streams.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Bailard Avenue at Carpinteria Avenue (3)
Theft: Cindy Lane, Carpinteria Avenue, Casitas Pass Road
Vandalism: 9th Street, Camino Trillado
Warrant arrest: Casitas Pass Road
Under the influence of a controlled substance: Linhere Street

PAPER FOR PLASTIC:
A Casitas Pass Road store reported that it likely sold $250 worth of store gift cards to customers who paid with counterfeit $20 bills in two separate transactions during the last week of March. Cashiers did not detect the fake twenties until customers had already made way with the merchandise. A review of purchases made with large amounts of cash led the store to believe the cash was received during the gift card transactions, but that determination remained uncertain at the time of the report. The store was able to pinpoint the transactions in its security footage, which was turned over to deputies and showed a male on one occasion and woman on the other making the gift card purchases. If the counterfeiters bought gift cards it was a bad idea since purchases using the store credit can be traced. Store records showed that at least six people had used the gift cards and the majority of the funds went toward alcohol.

HELTER SKELTER:
A man seen rummaging through a van parked on 5th Street at Elm Avenue was questioned about the activity on April 4 at about 1 p.m., and deputies discovered that the man had taken up residence in the abandoned van. Suspicious about the van and its shattered front windows and graffiti on the side, deputies approached the man and asked him if he owned the vehicle. The man said no, and he did not know the owner. He had, however, been sleeping in the van, he told officers. Other officers had kicked him out of the van the previous night, he said. Officers also discovered that the man possessed less than an ounce of marijuana. Officers had the abandoned vehicle towed and cited the man for possession of marijuana.

UNIFORMED HEROIN USERS:
A deputy observing a suspected drug dealer allegedly witnessed a man walk up and engage in a sly handshake before walking away, leading the deputy to suspect that drugs had changed hands in a parking lot on 9th Street on April 2. Unable to track down the suspected dealer, the deputy knew where the other subject was based on the uniform he wore.

The incident began when a deputy patrolling the parking lot saw a man lingering outside a vehicle. In conversation with the deputy, the suspicious man reportedly said it wasn’t his vehicle and he was waiting for a friend. Unconvinced that the man was so innocent, the deputy parked around the block and walked to a vantage point where he could observe the man.

First one man wearing a uniform walked up to him and chatted for about 15 seconds before jogging off. Then a separate man wearing an identical uniform showed up and made the hand-to-hand exchange and also jogged off.

When following up at the business associated with the uniforms, the deputy saw the two men engaged in conversation with a third man. They were all ordered to sit down since the deputy believed some drug-related activity had gone down. Each subject was either on parole or probation, so the deputy probed them accordingly. A search of one of the men uncovered tinfoil and a pen tube, accoutrements commonly used for smoking drugs. Deputies suspected that both of the men were under the influence of drugs based on their droopy, watery eyes, eyelid tremors and non-reactive pupils.

Then the deputy located a small amount of suspected heroin on the ground near to where the men were detained, so they were all arrested. In questioning, two of the men admitted to having drug problems. One of them said he had received the heroin as partial repayment for a $40 debt owed to him. The other said he had been off the drug and primarily assuaged his addiction with Vicodin; however, deputies noted he had track marks on his arms. All three were arrested for possession of synthetic narcotics.

OTHER REPORTS:
Identity theft: Cramer Road
Neighborhood disturbance: Carpinteria Avenue
Public intoxication: Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: Casitas Pass Road, Carpinteria Avenue
Weapons violation: Casitas Pass Road

GLASS ACTION:
It was a bad week for windows in Carpinteria. A vehicle parked on the corner of Sandyland Road and Ash Avenue had its window busted out in a burglary on April 1 before 10 p.m. A man parked and left the vehicle while picking up his wife, who was working within some of the neighborhood condos, and when he returned to the vehicle, a window was smashed and a handbag containing $530 in cash was missing.

On the night before, a motel room window on Carpinteria Avenue suffered a similar fate, allegedly at the hands of an angry boyfriend. Deputies received the report of a smashed window at a motel and learned that a tequila-fueled argument allegedly led to a man, 23, putting his fist through a window. The motel wanted to press vandalism charges but the suspect was nowhere to be found. The ex-girlfriend, who remained in the room after fighting with the man, said he had fled after adding his decorative touch to the room.

Also on March 31, at a different motel on Via Real, a deputy patrolling the parking lot encountered glass spilled onto the pavement from a vandalized vehicle. The deputy delivered the bad news to a motel guest who said the last time he had seen his vehicle, at 1 a.m., the windows were intact. Nothing was stolen from the vehicle.

On the afternoon of March 30, a vehicle parked on Aragon Drive had its window smashed. Deputies were unable to locate witnesses or evidence. Nothing was stolen from the vehicle.

ODE TO AZ:
A man pulled over for having too tinted windows landed in hot water for his decision to sport Arizona plates on his vehicle even though it was legally registered in California. The deputy, who was unconvinced that the man simply preferred the Arizona plates or had not gotten around to installing the California plates, cited the driver, 22, for false license plates and nearly arrested him following the March 27 encounter on Carpinteria Avenue.

At first, the deputy informed the driver that his tinted windows violated California vehicle code. The situation took a turn for the worse when the man handed over his paper registration from California, which did not jibe with the Arizona plates affixed to the front and back. The man said he attached the Arizona plates so he would not get pulled over, an explanation that did not make sense to the officer since the car was legally registered. According to the driver, his dad purchased the vehicle about a year ago. The deputy discovered that the Arizona plates were not linked to the vehicle through past registrations.

Eventually the man said he received the plates from a friend, but he still refused to elaborate on why he used them. The deputy grilled him about whether the Arizona plates were affixed since tinting laws might be more relaxed elsewhere or if the car had been used in a crime and the false plate was a disguise.

The deputy cuffed the man to take him away, but the man’s father showed up and said the son was needed for work. So the deputy cited and released him.

SMOKE SCREEN:
A deputy pulled over a man on his bicycle for rolling down the wrong side of the street while smoking a cigarette on March 27 and ended up arresting the man for allegedly possessing false documents. Pulled over for the traffic infraction and violation of municipal code on Linden Avenue at around 7:30 p.m., the bicyclist, 34, provided a Mexican identification card with one birth date, but a deputy noticed another ID with another birth date inside his wallet. The man reportedly told the deputy that he used the second ID for employment, and the deputy noted that it was shoddily put together. The man reportedly came around to admitting he knew it was fake and was arrested for forgery.

OTHER REPORTS:
Possession of dangerous non-narcotic drug: Carpinteria Avenue
Vandalism: Carpinteria Avenue

YOU DOG:
A woman who was reportedly shaken up by a threatening neighbor was unsure about the wording of the threat that was allegedly spoken in passing on March 21. Her neighbor, a 44-year-old man, either said, “I’m going to kill your dog,” or, “I’m going to kill you, you dog.”

Investigating the incident, deputies learned that acrimony between the neighbors was nothing new. Of the most recent reported spat, the accused said he remembered walking by while his accuser watered her lawn that morning, but he didn’t exchange any words with her. Another recent moment in the relationship he recalled and relayed to the deputy was when the woman reportedly glared at him while he was getting into his car to go to work. With her eyes locked on him, she allegedly formed a pistol with a fist and extended finger, placed it to her head and motioned like she was pulling the trigger. Asked why he did report the mimed gunshot threat, the man said he considered it a fairly standard interaction with the feuding neighbor.

Deputies advised the man to continue to ignore the woman, to have members of his household ignore the woman and to not harm her dog. He agreed to follow the order.

The woman later told deputies that it dawned on her that the threat she had reported was directed at the dog, not her.

CIGARETTE POLICE:
A man who was contacted by deputies for smoking a cigarette on Carpinteria Avenue on March 24 was eventually arrested. The deputy first intended to tell the man, 19, and a friend to put out their butts, in accordance with municipal codes, but the confrontation led to the deputy asking for ID and ascertaining that man had a warrant out for his arrest for failure to appear for a moving violation, disturbing the peace and possession of marijuana.

TANGLED WORLDWIDE WEB
A man who was out $2,390 complained to deputies that he had been duped by a woman, 45, who allegedly asked him to cash a bad check because she lacked a bank account. However, the accused woman said she unwittingly asked the victim to cash the check, and the real scammer was a Craigslist poster in Pittsburg.

The victim had asked deputies to accompany him as he attempted to retrieve the money from the woman, and the planned encounter led to the March 25 revelation that the woman, too, could have been a victim.

Originally, she had told the man the check was for services rendered for a job she did “up north” after replying to an online job posting. He agreed to cash the check for a $100 cut, he said. Then the bank told him the money would be deducted from his account because the cashed check had either insufficient funds or was linked to a fraudulent account.

She said her Craigslist employer had her conduct a survey and promised $410 for the job. However, the check that came in the mail was for $2,390. She was instructed to wire back the difference. Since she could not cash the check, she asked the victim to do it for her. The woman said she could furnish copies of the email trail to prove she had been scammed. Also, she had an envelope the check came in—from the same person’s name on the check and a Pittsburg address—but she could not find the receipt for wiring the money back.

Deputies recognized the fairly common Craigslist scam, whereby the scammer overpays and asks for a refund. They informed the man that it was unlikely that they could track down a shadowy internet scammer who was far out of the jurisdiction and likely using layers of false identities. He was also likely out of luck on getting his money back since the usual scenario for compensation is through victim restitution upon conviction. He could also pursue the woman through civil court, they said.

ARTIFICIAL INCRIMINATION:
Deputies serving a warrant raided a Carpinteria Avenue motel room on March 26 and uncovered all the trappings for an allegedly budding drug dealing operation along with a suspected ringleader, who had scripted and outlined his organization in notebooks.

The suspect, a 24-year-old man, was found with about $1,100 in cash, 26 grams of marijuana, usable amounts of heroin and heaps of text messages and notebooks which deputies collected as evidence since the contents allegedly indicated the man was dealing drugs.

One notebook item of interest was an oath from a Don, or gang leader, to new members. It read like this: “I as your Don bless you into this organization. You are now a brother and have proven yourself worthy of my trust. I do absolve you of any past wrong doing or short coming. Do you accept the responsibility of upholding the rules and mission of (the organization)? Do you swear never to betray the organization or another brother? Do you swear to embrace your brothers and protect them with your life? And to help any brother in need? Arise Gordo you are now a full brother.”

Additionally, a pecking order was outlined in notebooks. A diagram indicated the top dog was the Don, followed by captains, lieutenants and workers.

Explaining how deputies had it all wrong, the man reportedly offered a litany of excuses. The heroin, which was swabbed onto cotton balls, was enough for personal use and he only used it to ward off detox sickness. The cash, which included 49 $20 bills, was rent money that had been given to him by his dad. About the baggies, he reportedly said, “Oh no, that doesn’t look good,” before explaining a friend had left them behind. Text messages about selling “green” were “just texts,” he said. About the oath and other details regarding a drug-dealing organization, the man said it was all fodder for a screenplay he was writing.

Deputies arrested the aspiring screenwriter on the warrant plus charges of possessing and dealing drugs.

OTHER REPORTS:
Assault: El Carro Lane
Burglary: Via Real
Theft: Sandyland Road
Warrant arrest: Yucca Lane, Carpinteria Avenue (2)

PHONEY FRIEND:
A man accused of walking away with his acquaintance’s phone and credit card denied any wrongdoing but was arrested for possession of non-narcotic drugs and outstanding warrants. Deputies investigated the incident on the 5600 block of Carpinteria Avenue at around 1 a.m. on March 20.

The woman whose phone and credit wandered off along with the alleged thief said she suspected her acquaintance was lingering in the area. Sure enough, deputies found him just down the block, walking with a phone in his hand. The man, 28, said he was given the phone and that he did not possess a credit card. However, a deputy spotted a card protruding from his shoe. Close inspection revealed the card was embossed with the victim’s name.

Once her possessions were returned, the woman elected to not pursue charges, but deputies learned in the meantime that the man had outstanding warrants for his arrest. Upon arresting the man, they searched him and found he was storing Xanax in his underwear. The man said he was prescribed the medicine, but deputies found no evidence of a prescription when escorting the man to jail for his warrants and possession of the non-narcotic drug.

STRAPPING ON SANTA CLAUS:
A deputy investigating a van parked near businesses on Santa Claus Lane at around 4 a.m. on March 16 suspected he might have been breaking up a burglary in progress before ultimately discovering a concealed handgun inside the van.

Patrolling the area, the deputy first parked and shined a bright spotlight on the suspicious van. The sole occupant of the van, which had its rear seats removed, was a 28-year-old man who the deputy noted was sweating, fidgety and nervous. Also, the deputy noted the man made several furtive hand motions under his seat and scanned the area outside as if waiting for an accomplice to emerge from a business. Also, the deputy noticed a knife in the vehicle and a collection of marijuana stems on the floor of the vehicle.

The man admitted to possessing a little weed and the knife but balked at the deputy’s request to search the vehicle. He told the deputy he was from Bakersfield and visiting town to see relatives. The family time had grown a little tiresome, he said, so he cruised down to Santa Claus Lane to relax and watch a movie in the van.

Deputies searched the vehicle and found a handgun and crystal meth in a backpack. The man said he did not know how the weapons or drugs came to be in the vehicle. The gun was 14-shot semi-automatic .22 pistol.

A records check revealed that the man was a convicted felon from Lompoc who had served time on prior weapons charges. His felony status made it even more illegal for him to possess a loaded and concealed semiautomatic weapon in the vehicle. Deputies arrested the man for the weapons and drugs allegations.

RAFFLE ALMOST UNRAVELED:
A man who used his company credit card to purchase a 46-inch television in order to raffle it off at an event allegedly had the raffle item swiped before it could be won. In reporting the theft to sheriff’s deputies, the man said he had left the television, box and all, inside his unlocked vehicle parked on Granada Way overnight between March 12 and March 13. The unsecured television didn’t last the night. Deputies did not receive the crime report until the early evening, since according to the report, the man spent the day purchasing a duplicate television and raffling it off.

OTEHR REPORTS:
Annoying, harassing phone calls: Holly Avenue
Burglary: Linden Avenue
Driving under the influence: Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: Noma Street, Eugenia Place
Trespassing: Jay Street
Vandalism: Santa Monica Road

FREE FOR ALL:
A woman accused of theft on March 14 on Linden Avenue was reportedly brazen during her shopping outings at both a liquor store and a clothing store.

Deputies first investigated the woman after she was seen “rearranging” items on a shelf at the liquor store. The clerk said that the woman, a 28-year-old transient, hovered at a shelf fondling merchandise before leaving the store and entering a restaurant. He believed the woman had stolen merchandise but did not see the crime.

When the deputy caught up with the woman, she was holed up in the restaurant bathroom. He coaxed the woman from a stall but found that she possessed no stolen merchandise. She told the deputy that all of her belongings were in a friend’s car.

Then later in the day the deputy fielded another call about a suspected shoplifter at a Linden Avenue clothing store. At the store, the deputy encountered the same suspect in an entirely new outfit. According to the clerk, the suspected shoplifter had been loitering and trying on items for about an hour.

Cleverly, the store clerk had kept the woman occupied while waiting for officers to arrive. She pointed out that the suspect had dressed herself in nearly $600 worth of merchandise including Ugg boots, a bikini top and accessories. The clerk first noticed something was awry when the woman snapped off a security tag on some sunglasses. The suspect then tried to enter the dressing room with a children’s wetsuit. Asked by store personnel what she wanted with the wetsuit, the woman reportedly became agitated. Still undeterred, the woman reportedly emerged from the dressing room in an ensemble taken from the store’s shelves.

The clerk discovered security tags inside a tissue box, and the clothing the suspect had worn into the store was stashed in a trashcan. Upon arrest for burglary, the woman reportedly told deputies that she had planned to have her employer cover the expenses for the clothing.

BARK AND BITE:
A man once convicted of battering a neighbor only allegedly confronted him with words this time around. However, even bark minus the bite violated the law since a condition of the once convicted neighbor’s probation barred him from contacting his victim in any way.

When deputies arrived to investigate the March 9 incident, they learned that the latest dispute erupted over a dog. The victim told deputies that the neighbor violated a restraining order when he complained about the victim’s dog’s incessant barking. During the confrontation, the suspect allegedly gripped his hand into a fist and asked the victim, “You want one of these?”

Ascertaining whether the restraining order existed, deputies initially were dumbfounded. However, they soon learned that it was not a restraining order, rather a condition of probation from the previous battery charge that barred the suspect from contacting his neighbor.

The suspect said he knew there was some sort of rule advising him to stay away from the neighbor. However, he said, somebody had to do something about the continuous barking. He told deputies he felt he was better equipped to handle the situation than animal control.

The threatened neighbor asked that deputies pursue charges. A report was filed with the district attorney’s office for possible violation of probation charges.

TELEPATHETIC:
A man who had a hunch his wife was being held hostage at the Carpinteria sheriff’s station was eventually arrested for reckless driving and resisting arrest on March 7.

The suspect, 20, first pulled into the station in rescue mode. He parked in the center of a driveway, blocking in several patrol vehicles. He was there to check on his wife, who was inside, he said. Deputies told the man he was mistaken; nobody was inside other than sworn officers of the law, they told the man. However, the man refused to accept that version of the truth. He insisted his wife was being “held hostage.” He knew so, because he was telepathic, he said.

Deputies first ordered the man to move the vehicle, a command the man reportedly followed. However, he became aggravated that his compliance wasn’t rewarded by some answers. He accused officers of lying, and told them he could see their thoughts. He demanded entry into the station.

Irritated by the officers’ obtuse denials, the man reportedly hopped into his vehicle and spun the tires on the damp pavement in reverse. He then slammed the transmission into drive and gave the tires a spin in the other direction for good measure. In accelerating out of the parking lot, the visionary reportedly leapt over a steep bump into the street, causing his tires to go airborne and squeal again on their landing.

Officers caught up to the man on Via Real, where the driver pulled over and denied driving erratically. Since the man had already proven that he was prone to speeding off, the deputy demanded that he hand his keys over. The man refused and instead wrapped the keys in his clenched fist. Deputies pried the man from the vehicle and the keys from his hand before arresting him for reckless driving and resisting arrest. Didn’t see that coming.

OTHER REPORTS:
Annoying/harassing phone calls: Hickory Street, Via Real
Burglary: Carpinteria Avenue
Civil dispute: Franciscan Court
Identity theft: Ladera Lane
Probation violation: 7th Street
Under the influence of a controlled substance: Carpinteria Avenue
Vandalism: Tomol Drive, Carpinteria Avenue
Warrant arrest: Carpinteria Avenue, Linden Avenue

UNWELCOME MAT:
A man enjoying a cigarette in the night air on Holly Avenue on Feb. 27 was reportedly jolted from tranquility by an intruder crashing through his gate and onto his porch. The intruder tried to climb the stairs up the porch but was halted by the resident, who promptly tossed the intruder onto his back. The intruder, a 20-something-year-old who had blood dripping from his mouth, reportedly fled.

When a deputy arrived to investigate, he noted a trail of blood leading from the gate down the sidewalk. The resident said he believed two men were chasing the intruder, but he did not have visual confirmation. A woman at the residence claimed she knew who the intruder was from high school, but the resident did not wish to press prowling charges.

A kitchen knife and gray beanie remained near the porch, and the resident said the items were not there before the intruder burst onto the scene. Deputies were unable to track down a subject cannon balling around in the night with blood trickling down his chin.

WINDOW SHOPPING:
A woman complained to sheriff’s deputies that a neighbor was probably looking in her windows. Her suspicions stemmed from an incident months ago when she had found a handprint on her window.

Also contributing to her belief that the neighbor was treating her residence like his own personal fishbowl was a separate incident when she reportedly witnessed him looking through the window of another residence on the property. At that point, the man was not living on the property; his ex-wife occupied the unit.

The woman also told deputies she had witnessed the alleged peeper sifting through trash barrels. She said he would comment about the trash he found to the disposer. Since she felt the neighbor had psychiatric problems, she said she would be moving out and only wanted to document her suspicions.

OTHER REPORTS:
Battery: Carpinteria Avenue
Possession of opium/cocaine: Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: Santa Claus Lane
Vandalism: Lillie Avenue, Carpinteria Avenue (2), Camino Trillado

GOOD LASER BEAMS MAKE BAD NEIGHBORS:
Residents on Rincon Road were in disagreement about the appropriateness of shining a laser light at a neighbor’s home on Feb. 25.

Two residents in distress flagged down a deputy patrolling the area at about 8 p.m. They said a neighbor had positioned a green laser light near the fence line separating the properties and directed its beam at their front porch. They added that their attention was drawn to the property earlier in the evening when a vehicle without lights on was driving around the property, even though they believed nobody was staying there.

Attempting to investigate the property from whence the light shone, the deputy encountered a locked gate. He walked up the driveway and knocked at one of the buildings on the property but received no answer. Windows were covered in burlap, the deputy noted. He then traced the fence line and found a 5-foot ladder leaning on a storage container. On top of the container, a green light pointed toward the neighbor’s residence. The deputy collected the light and set it on the porch, at which point he heard some rustling from within the building and looked into a window, where he saw furniture but no people.

Set to leave the property, the deputy then heard a voice call to him and a resident emerged from the shadowy structure. The resident, 46, was perturbed to see a lawman on his land. Told that his laser light show was disturbing neighbors, the man said he placed the light at the fence line to simulate a security system. The deputy recommended shining it along the fence line, not into neighbors’ windows. Asked if he resided on the property, the man said he came and went as he pleased to protect his interests against the threat of burglars. He also said he had trouble with the neighbors and was suing multiple nearby property owners.

The deputy said he was unconcerned about civil suits; it was shining lights in neighbors’ windows that brought him out. Throughout the encounter, the light shiner continued to express displeasure with the deputy’s presence. The deputy left without any making an arrest or issuing a citation.

OH, WHAT A NIGHT:
A 31-year-old man remained at large after allegedly leaving his wallet and ID behind at the scene of a burglary. After discovering the clue, deputies used the identity of the man to connect him to an additional burglary and a domestic disturbance call to a motel in the same night, Feb. 25.

The night began when deputies responded to a Via Real motel to assist in a report of a blowout argument between a man and woman staying at the motel. On scene, they found the woman, who said she was vacating the motel, but her boyfriend, with whom she’d been fighting, was nowhere to be found. The woman vacated the room and stood in the front of the motel with her belongings and said her brother would be picking her up along with the boyfriend. Asked again where the boyfriend was, she said he had scurried away because he’d been drinking and thought deputies would arrest him.

Then deputies received a call about a vehicle break-in nearby. The victim and a neighbor were in pursuit of a man they found within the victim’s vehicle. According to the witnesses, one of the neighbors had seen a figure in the night fiddling with his neighbor’s truck. He figured the truck fiddler was the neighbor in his own truck, but he walked to his neighbor’s door to verify whether the neighbor was inside his residence or at the truck. He found the neighbor in his residence so the two men went to investigate who was messing with the truck. When they got to the truck, they discovered an unknown man inside. The burglar exited the vehicle, attempted to punch one of the men in the face and after some wrestling, broke free and sprinted down the road. Deputies were unable to locate the suspect.

In a separate incident on Carpinteria Avenue, evidence left behind allowed deputies to tie it all together. A woman reported that a burglar had sliced a hole large enough for a body into the canvas top of her convertible. When deputies arrived, they took inventory of the vehicle and found a knife, cigarettes and a wallet that did not belong to the vehicle owner inside of the vehicle. The woman’s wallet was missing, but the one left behind had an ID for a man and for a woman. The found woman’s ID matched the name of the girlfriend in the domestic dispute at the motel. Deputies surmised that the burglar wormed in through the canvas and found a wallet within the vehicle before wriggling out and dropping his wallet and other items on the way.

Deputies ran a records check for the man on the lost ID and it showed the man was on parole. The truck burglary witnesses picked the parolee’s photo from a lineup as the man they’d discovered inside the truck. The suspect had also left a beer bottle in the truck, which was finger printed for further evidence. As for the girlfriend, deputies listed her as a person of interest but did not say whether her brother arrived to pick her up from the motel. The boyfriend had not been tracked down at the time the reports were filed.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE:
A woman reportedly walked into a Linden Avenue shop at around 6 p.m. on Feb. 25 and proclaimed, “I’ve got some extra money, so I’m going to do some shopping,” which immediately raised red flags with employees, who wondered why a shopper needed to declare they would spend money. Keeping track of all the woman’s moves, a store employee noticed her leave a dressing room. A look into the vacated room revealed a security tag likely removed from some merchandise. The store manager confronted the shopper and asked her to empty her purse, a request that the pretentious shopper reportedly found insulting and caused her to say she was “appalled” by the accusation. Instead of emptying her purse, the shopper walked out of the store and up the street. A store employee trailed the woman as sheriff’s deputies were called. The employee reportedly witnessed the woman jettison items from her purse before quickening her pace to a sprint and evading the employee. The employee collected the ditched items—a cell phone, flashlight, lip gloss and a bracelet—which at the time of the report were not determined to have been from the store. The suspect was not tracked down.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Varley Street
DUI: Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: Casitas Pass Road
Under the influence of a controlled substance: Carpinteria Avenue
Vandalism: Ortega Ranch Road, Via Real

CRIME REPORTS SHOW SPIKE IN VEHICLE BREAK-INS

Between the nights of Feb. 15 and 17 vandals and thieves hit seven vehicles, stealing items from six and smashing the windows of four.

The most activity occurred in the 5400 block of 8th Street, where two vehicles were broken into and one was stolen overnight between Feb. 15 and 16. A man whose vehicle was packed with his possessions for a move to the area had around $1,000 worth of his belongings stolen. One of the items taken was a bag that contained his girlfriend’s keys. Her 2010 Honda was stolen from the parking spot adjacent to his. As of the report being filed, the missing vehicle had not been tracked down.

On the same block on the same evening, items valued at $1,200 were stolen from a separate unlocked vehicle. The items included a massage chair and two pairs of prescription glasses.

On the 4500 block of Carpinteria Avenue that evening, $880 worth of audio equipment was stolen from a vehicle. The victim awoke to find the door to his vehicle open and the guts of his stereo system exposed inside.

Overnight between Feb. 17 and 18, three vehicles had their windows smashed. The greatest loss was $2,070 in items taken from a vehicle at 5700 Via Real. Burglars made away with an auto scanner and programmer and a GPS system.

A vehicle parked curbside on the 4500 block of El Carro Lane had a window shattered and a briefcase containing a checkbook and business paperwork stolen. The victim valued the briefcase at $50 and the window at $200.

The third window smashing that night happened at 1405 Tomol Drive, but the victim reported no items were taken or rummaged through within the vehicle.

Then on the afternoon of Feb. 18, a vehicle in a lot at the industrial park on Via Real had its window smashed. The victim reported that a purse on the center console containing credit cards and identification was stolen. The purse was valued at $50 and the window at $200.

ROOMIES:
Two women living under the same roof accused one another of knife threats. The alleged altercation stemmed from one of the two women—the 67-year-old landlord—constantly accusing the tenant, 65, of spraying too much Febreeze. According to deputy reports, the long-simmering dispute came to a head in early February and resulted in an agreement to part ways and not press charges.

On the day of the knife incident, the landlord, who rented a room to the other woman, again complained of excessive aerosol use. Then the two shared the kitchen and the landlord noticed the tenant using a steak knife to make a sandwich. When the landlord passed closely by the tenant, the tenant reportedly uttered, “Don’t come any closer or you’ll get stabbed.” At that point, the landlord grabbed the phone, gesturing like she was calling the police, but the tenant reportedly apologized before she dialed. The landlord then typed up a 30-day eviction notice, citing both the tenant’s tendency to spray things and knife threats as reasons she needed to vacate the premises. The landlord told deputies she did not want to press charges; she only wanted documentation since she anticipated a civil suit.

Deputies took a statement from the tenant, who described the landlord as unstable and falsely representing the situation. On the day in question, she was making a sandwich when the landlord began laying into her again for what she said were imagined clouds of aerosol spray. She set down the knife, and the landlord picked it up and continued berating her. The tenant said at that point she gave her 30-day notice and left the room.

The tenant was confused when she received an eviction notice, according to reports. She responded in writing to the eviction by stating she had already given her notice and by refuting the landlord’s accusation about the knife statement. In her statement to deputies, she also declined to press charges.

TWO-HOUR SHOWER:
A woman who decided to sublet a room in her apartment came to realize the revenue-generating move wasn’t worth it. Deputies received a call at the termination of the lease agreement at Banner Avenue on Feb. 8. The renter accused the sub-letter of assault after reportedly being pushed out the door while trying to get a rent refund.

The sub-letter, 32, reportedly had come to her wit’s end when she returned home to find the renter, 51, in the throes of a marathon shower. Counting the minutes, which reportedly added up to about 120, the sub-letter eventually told the renter to get out of the shower.

The renter, who had first signed on for a two-week stay before extending her tenancy a month at a time for two months, took offense to being ordered out of the shower. The following day, she said she would be moving out of the “toxic environment.”

She returned with her daughter and demanded a refund of rent from the remainder of the month. The sub-letter refused, saying she needed notice. According to the renter, that’s when the sub-letter got aggressive and pushed her against the wall before pushing her out the door. She wanted to press charges she said.

For her part, the sub-letter told deputies she never touched her accuser.

Deputies filed a report with the district attorney’s office for potential charges to be brought on the sub-letter and advised all parties that civil matters should be handled in court.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Carpinteria Avenue
Possession of a dangerous non-narcotic: Casitas Pass Road
Public intoxication: Casitas Plaza
Theft: Ortega Hill Road, Evans Street, Lillie Avenue, Palmetto Way
Trespassing: Carpinteria Avenue
Vandalism: Ortega Ranch Road

SEE YOU A PHONE AND RAISE YOU A KEY:
A man denied usage of a convenience store bathroom reportedly threw a fit on Via Real at 1:45 a.m. on Feb. 5. A deputy investigating the incident found the man might have been prone to outbursts due to being too intoxicated to be in public.

When the deputy arrived, he spotted the man, 27, standing outside the open driver’s side door of a vehicle. The man, an Inglewood resident, reportedly walked with an unsteady gate toward the deputy and said, “What happened?” The deputy asked the man for his ID, but the man, who reeked of alcohol, handed over his phone. He told the deputy he was headed home and the truck wasn’t his. Home was the motel next to the convenience store, he said. Beyond that, the man, who had bloodshot eyes, had trouble communicating. The deputy again asked for an ID, and the man handed over his motel room key.

The store clerk said the man walked in accompanied by a woman at about 1:40 a.m. He stumbled up and down aisles, almost falling down before asking to use the restroom. The clerk said, “No.” This reportedly upset the man, and both the clerk and his woman friend urged him out of the store while he became more combative. The clerk told him she was calling the cops, and the man said, “Go ahead.”

When the deputy arrived, the woman accompanying the man asked to be excused, and the deputy determined that she was not being investigated and could leave.

The deputy surmised the man was too drunk to operate his body in public and arrested him. Upon his arrest, the man said the vehicle was his, so the deputy had it towed.

TAILGATE PARTY:
A man looking to settle a score with an acquaintance over his girlfriend being tailgated in traffic reportedly pulled up to the acquaintance’s place and got into a rumble on Feb. 4 on Catlin Circle. Witnesses who were at the park across the street reported the fistfight. Both men involved in the fight were averse to talking to law enforcement and pressing charges through the normal channels of the criminal justice system.

From the little information deputies were able to glean from the mum alleged combatants, they learned that one of the men, 27, had rolled up in his SUV and engaged in a fight, first verbal and then physical, with the 21-year-old. Both men said they were acquaintances and had gotten along in the past.

One man said he pulled up in his vehicle after spotting his acquaintance on the side of the road because the roadside man, who was at his residence working on a car, had tailgated his girlfriend. After the men exchanged words, the driver exited his vehicle and bloodied the other man’s nose as he had his own lip bloodied. Another man who was assisting in the vehicle maintenance stood aside and cheered. Neither man elaborated on how the fight started, nor did either want medical attention. A witness said he thought the men were just wrestling before he realized that they were playing for keeps and he phoned the sheriff’s department.

When the deputy arrived, he ordered the men to sit at gunpoint before handcuffing three men for fear that they had weapons.

The investigation then turned to the man’s vehicle, which was parked on the wrong side of the street due to the sudden nature of his stop. The vehicle was registered to the man’s mom, but he considered it his and had permission to drive it, he said. However, the man had a suspended license, so deputies had the vehicle towed and issued an additional ticket to the man for operating without a valid license. Both men received disturbing the peace citations.

OTHER REPORT:
Burglary: Foothill Road
Forgery and counterfeiting: Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: Colville Street
Vandalism: Casitas Pass Road
Warrant arrest: Aragon Drive

TURNED ON:
A man complaining of a disruptive neighbor on Summerland’s Calle Culebra called sheriff’s deputies to complain of a mysterious situation involving the man downstairs banging on walls with a broom and repeatedly yelling, “Turn it on!” The man phoning in the complaint, 57, said he was concerned that the situation with the downstairs neighbor, 28, might escalate, particularly since the downstairs neighbor threatened as much after being ordered off the upstairs neighbor’s balcony during his “turn it on” episode.

A little investigation revealed that it was the internet modem he wanted turned on. The man upstairs, who controlled the modem, noticed that its row of blinking lights had gone dark. He called the service provider and found out the internet was down in the area. He relayed the message to the downstairs neighbor, but the unsatisfied tantrum-thrower reportedly kept being uncivil. The upstairs neighbor reported the hostility to the landlord and was expecting an eviction notice to be issued. He said the downstairs neighbor continued to intentionally slam doors and bang brooms on walls. He only wanted to file a report to law enforcement; not to file charges. Officers ordered him not to confront the neighbor and to call the sheriff’s department instead.
CAUGHT STEALING:
A man who exited his Manzanita Street home to do laundry at about midnight on Jan. 29 earned gratitude from numerous neighbors when his late-night laundering landed an alleged thief who had reportedly broken into four neighbors’ vehicles.

The man called the sheriff’s department to report a suspicious person in the street. When deputies arrived, a woman, 22, was reportedly walking from a stoop toward the road, but upon seeing the patrol car, she did an about-face. Deputies probed the area where they’d seen the woman and found a backpack and miscellaneous items scattered on the lawn. The woman, who was playing coy, attempted to blend into some shrubbery near the residence.

Asked what she was doing, the woman said she was looking for a person named Jaime at the home. She didn’t know Jaime’s last name. Deputies contacted the property owner, who reportedly said of the trespasser, “She don’t belong here. That’s why the dogs were barking.”

Under interrogation, the suspect reportedly blamed friends for the theft. She was not breaking into vehicles, she said. Instead she was more like a pack mule, walking with a backpack while the other women involved stuffed it with items from unlocked vehicles. Deputies found the backpack where she had dropped it while searching through it for her personal cell phone, she said.

Officers recovered many items, including an iPod, that had been taken from vehicles at five addresses on Manzanita Street. The woman, who was a familiar face to local deputies from past drug-related incidents, was arrested for alleged theft from the vehicles.

PICKLED SARDINES:
A man who was allegedly driving five passengers in his truck—one in the bed—away from downtown Carpinteria on 8th Street at about 1:30 a.m. on Jan. 27 was pulled over and accused of being too drunk to drive.

A deputy spotted the party truck departing from Linden Avenue and noticed that a passenger who could not fit in the front of the truck climbed into the bed. The deputy observed the truck pull away and make a wide corner, during which it nearly swiped some vehicles, before it over-corrected and straddled the centerline.

Upon making a traffic stop, the deputy reported that the driver, 27, smelled strongly of alcohol and fumbled around for his license. A preliminary breath test recorded the man’s blood alcohol content at .226, nearly three-times the legal limit. The man claimed he’d only consumed a beer several hours earlier but was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Avenue Del Mar, Padaro Lane, Serafin Lane, Via Real
Driving under the influence: 7th Street
Possession of a dangerous narcotic: Casitas Pass Road
Public intoxication: Linden Avenue, Rose Lane
Theft: Shepard Mesa Lane, Linden Avenue, Bailard Avenue

SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY:
A decade-long neighborly dispute reportedly needed law enforcement intervention following a Jan. 16 incident when a neighbor reportedly resorted to barking from his yard to tell another neighbor to “slow down!” on Azalea Street. The road monitor, 63, reportedly marched down the street the following day to further his complaints and berated the speeding neighbor’s wife. Deputies investigated and learned from an additional neighbor that words were in fact exchanged. Another man said he witnessed the confrontation between the street monitor and the wife and thought it was impolite. The street monitor estimated that his neighbor blew through the neighborhood at 35 miles per hour and had to slam the brakes before entering his driveway. The driver, 51, who called, said he simply wanted a report taken to document what he considered bad behavior by the street monitor.

STICKY FINGERS:
A woman readying to mix a batch of brownies removed her rings to avoid dirtying them with batter on the afternoon of Jan. 13. She thought the four rings were safe inside the Carpinteria Avenue residence and among her company of two women and a man, but when she found her diamond ring missing, she suspected that an acquaintance had sticky fingers without dipping her hands into the batter.

The victim noted that another woman in the residence, 18, was fingering and admiring the ring. Still, the victim felt the rings were secure and went into another room, leaving them on the kitchen counter. The ring ogler then announced she was going to the store with her male companion, 20, to pick up some cigarettes.

After they left, the victim noticed the one valuable ring of the four was gone. They tried texting the missing woman, diplomatically asking if she’d kept the ring by mistake, but the suspect did not text back. As of the time of the report, the ring was still missing and deputies had not questioned any people of interest.

BETTER THAN TELEVISION:
A vigilant woman walking from her residence to a neighbor’s on Holly Avenue on Jan. 20 observed an unfamiliar man walking up the driveway to an apartment complex parking lot. The hooded man made a sudden turn to avoid the woman, and she continued to observe him as he reportedly wandered into a neighboring empty lot and began poking around on the ground. She felt the whole thing was out of order but carried on with her visit to her neighbor. Half an hour later, she observed the same hooded figure creeping up the driveway. She popped out to see what he was doing—she suspected he was casing cars for valuables. Instead, he was posted up outside a window looking in. Once he saw her looking at him, he ran. She followed and caught up to the young man again in some bushes at the front of the complex, but he then fled farther away and she lost track of him. Deputies investigated, and the residents of the apartment where the man was looking in didn’t know they were being watched.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Via Real
Vandalism: Ash Avenue

SIDEWALK SURFING:
Soon after learning that a surfboard was stolen from outside a Linden Avenue surf shop on the afternoon of Jan. 11, an alert deputy spotted a man walking on Carpinteria Avenue carrying a soft-top board matching the description of the missing one.

When stopped by the deputy, the suspected surfboard thief, 27, said he hadn’t the faintest idea what a deputy would want to talk to him about. He’d recently acquired the surfboard, he said, in a trade. An expert deal-maker, he gave two cigarettes to a guy named Johnny in exchange for the board.

The deputy then interviewed a friend of the suspect. He told a different story. The forthcoming friend said the duo had met at the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission and had boarded a bus to spend the day in Carpinteria. When strolling on Linden Avenue, his friend had stolen the surfboard. He asked him to return it, but the friend refused.

When informed by a deputy that the friend had told on him, the suspect reportedly said, “Why don’t you just lock me up then?” The deputy fulfilled the request when arresting the man on charges of theft and possession of a small amount of marijuana.

FACEBOOK FOLLY:
A woman seeking justice after her wallet was stolen out of her grocery shopping cart on Jan. 12 tracked down the man she suspected had stolen the purse using a Facebook post as a clue. The suspected thief, 20, is friends with her son on Facebook, so when she noticed that he’d posted a new photo that appeared to match the décor of a motel room, she phoned a couple of the local motels and found the one where he was registered. Deputies used her detective work to track down and arrest the suspect on Jan. 13.

The alleged crime occurred at a Linden Avenue grocery store at about 7 p.m. According to the victim’s statements to deputies, she was shopping when another customer warned her that a man standing nearby was eyeing her purse, which was placed in the child’s seat of her cart. She noticed that the purse ogler had crept closer to her, but she continued to shop. Then she reached up to grab some groceries off the shelf and after doing so noticed that the suspicious man had vanished. A quick check of her purse revealed that her wallet, and the $1,200 it contained, were missing.

The woman yelled for the thief to stop, and a fellow customer heard the call, so he followed the thief out of the store, where he witnessed the thief ditch the wallet in a trash barrel. The man retrieved the wallet and returned it to the woman, but the money, along with gift cards, a credit card and some prescription pain pills were missing.

Deputies took a report of the alleged crime but were unable to find the suspect until the next day when the woman tipped them off about the motel where the man was staying. The suspect was familiar to deputies from previous run-ins, so they verified his probation status, which permitted deputies to search the man’s room, before they knocked at his motel room door.

Deputies noted that upon entering the room they were engulfed by the smell of marijuana. Also, two other men were present, so deputies drew their guns and handcuffed everyone in order to secure the situation. A quick ransacking of the suspect and the room turned up gift cards, pain pills and a credit card, which had been slid beneath the mattress, with the victim’s name on it. Deputies also noted that they uncovered a small amount of marijuana and a potato with burn marks on it likely carved out and used to smoke the marijuana. The suspect had only $6 in cash.

Quizzed about his potential involvement in the wallet theft, the man denied any wrongdoing. He said he was never at a grocery store the previous evening. Told by deputies that surveillance footage would poke holes in his story, the man reportedly said, “That’s something they’ll have to prove in court.” The man said the gift cards were his, and he had the pain pills because he liked them. After that he stopped talking.

Deputies also searched his home bedroom but did not locate any more evidence or cash. The thief’s urine tested presumptive positive for meth, marijuana, opiates and benzodiazepines. Deputies arrested the suspect and released the other two men.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Mark Avenue
Theft: Carpinteria Avenue (2), Sawyer Avenue, Via Real
Vandalism: 5th Street, Linden Avenue, Sandyland Road

TWO FOR NONE:
A Carpinteria man who arranged a vehicle trade on Craigslist—his 1998 Audi for another man’s 1994 Acura—reported to sheriff’s deputies that the Acura owner left with both vehicles.

The men had communicated several times before finally rendezvousing for a potential swap on Concha Loma Drive at about 2 p.m. on Jan. 4 at the residence of the Audi owner. The Acura owner and a passenger pulled up, and the Acura owner wanted to take the Audi for a spin before completing the trade. The Audi owner consented to the test drive but warned the Acura owner to not go too far since the car was low on gas and had been running poorly.

All was going as planned when the Audi and its test driver returned after a short spin. The test driver left the car running and said he wanted to complete the swap. The Audi owner said he’d be right back and turned to go into his residence to retrieve a pen in order to document the transaction. Once inside, the man heard the vehicles drive off and returned outside to find both the Audi and Acura, driven by the Acura owner’s companion, driving away. The Audi owner gave chase in a separate vehicle up Carpinteria Avenue and to the Bailard Avenue/Highway 101 South onramp before giving up and calling for law enforcement intervention.

Deputies took the report and investigated a phone number used by the Acura owner. It was tracked to the City of Industry, but nobody answered.

A Be On the Lookout order was issued for the stolen vehicle but as of the time of the report the Audi was not tracked down.

SPITFIRE COFFEE SPAT:
An unsatisfied customer at a Carpinteria Avenue coffee shop first engaged in a war of words with a fellow customer and then the altercation allegedly escalated to the parties exchanging spit on Jan. 1 at about noon. One customer involved in the dispute entered the fray on behalf of a barista who was being berated. He told sheriff’s deputies that in addition to the saliva shower he received from the unsatisfied customer, he was also gashed under the eye with a fingernail.

According to deputy reports, the incident began when the unsatisfied customer, a 37-year-old woman, claimed her coffee drink was made incorrectly. She expressed as much to the barista before returning to the register to get her money back. She also expected a free, correctly concocted drink to be promptly available when she turned back to the barista, but the drink wasn’t ready. At that point, she became really upset and reportedly laid into the barista.

At that point, the fellow customer, a 24-year-old male, sympathized with the barista and intervened to tell the woman that the drink mistake was a customer error in communication, not a barista error. This blame game reportedly pushed the already aggravated costumer over the edge. The battling customers continued raising their voices until emitting words wasn’t enough, and the woman reportedly spit at the man. This prompted the man to return the favor. Then at some point, the woman reportedly swiped a hand across the man’s face causing a one-inch gash that the officer noted looked “reddish” and “fresh.”

When deputies arrived to investigate, only the intervening customer remained on scene, and he wanted the woman prosecuted for battery. About a block away from the coffee shop, the woman’s boyfriend approached deputies to deliver her side of the story. He said that his girlfriend just arrived home and was distraught. She said two men had just “got up in her face” and spit on her.

Deputies noted that the involvement of a second man had been omitted by both the intervening customer and the barista, when they told their versions of the story. The second man—and the second alleged spitter—happened to be the fiancé to the intervening customer. The man’s fiancé reportedly stepped in as a back up spit cannon after the first spit exchange had already happened.

According to the accused woman, whom deputies caught up to at her residence, her accuser was yelling so hard that he sprayed spittle all over her. The misty spit storm she received prompted her to load up and spit back, she said. She also denied any face swiping. The men who had yelled at her were generous in their usage of the C-word, she added. She wanted prosecution not on the original intervening customer, but on his fiancé, who she said was holding a white dog and came in late in the exchange to deliver a cheap spit shot at her. She thought the men were friends with the barista. And she claimed the barista was chit chatting with other customers and had delivered three drinks before getting to her corrected order; that’s why she was so mad.

Deputies cited the woman for alleged battery and reported her counter-accusation against the fiancé to the district attorney’s office for possible charges.

OTHER REPORTS:
Assault: Carpinteria Avenue
Burglary: Serena Avenue, Ocean View Avenue, Cravens Lane
Possession of opium/cocaine: Padaro Lane
Theft: Whitney Avenue, Lillie Avenue

IT WASN’T ME:
A man with a guilty conscience landed himself in a deputy’s radar even though nobody had called dispatch following an oral dispute at a Carpinteria Avenue motel on Dec. 26. As an officer patrolled the motel parking lot, the guilt-ridden man happened to be walking toward the vehicle and reportedly uttered, “You should never have been called over here; it was just a disagreement.” Given reason to be suspicious, the deputy investigated what “was just a disagreement,” even though a call for service had never been received.

According to the suspicious man, he and his roommate had recently quarreled over gift cards. Now he was in the process of moving his belongings out of the room. The roommate corroborated the story, adding that he’d told his roommate that he was calling 9-1-1 but dialed his own number instead as a way to get the roommate to leave. Deputies documented the suspicious situation but made no arrests.

OTHER REPORTS:
Driving under the influence: Carpinteria Avenue
Public intoxication: Carpinteria Avenue
Theft: Sandyland Road
Under the influence of a controlled substance: 9th Street
Warrant arrest: Carpinteria Avenue, Casitas Pass Road, Via Real

SNOW JOBS:
Deputies received several reports of a group of young men or boys vandalizing vehicles on Carpinteria Avenue on Dec. 21 and 22. The group reportedly sprayed white faux-snow onto vehicles, including one vehicle that was hit twice. The second time, a vandal wrote a malicious word with the snow, and the victim told deputies he considered it a personal attack since it was repeated. The deputy noted that the man washed the faux-snow off and no damage was done. The man said he had encountered a giggling group of young men earlier.

FIND A HAPPY PLACE:
A man who dialed 9-1-1 when he reportedly was having paranoid delusions did himself in when he was found in the home the call originated from and deputies suspected he was on drugs. Deputies knocked at the door of the Eleanor Drive home at about 5:30 a.m. on Dec. 24, and the residents said everything was fine. They were unaware a 9-1-1 call had been made. Officers were familiar with the home and thought the source of the call might be a man, 21, whom they had apprehended in the past.

The groggy women who answered the door said that the man in question was in the home, but they weren’t sure where. He showed up very late that night and might be in the garage, they said.

Deputies searched the garage but found nobody. They turned back into the house to continue the search when a deputy noticed the bottom of two shoes underneath a table. The tablecloth obscured the rest of the man’s body until a deputy swooped it up and saw the man on all fours, butt toward the deputies. It took some cajoling for the man to emerge from under the table.

The man was on parole, and he told deputies he had just left a sober living home and returned to his grandparents’ Carpinteria home only a few hours ago. He heard suspicious noises outside and became paranoid so he dialed 9-1-1, he said. He attributed his delusions to schizophrenia, but deputies found evidence of meth usage in the man’s urine. The man also admitted to using heroin a couple of days prior. He was arrested for being under the influence of a controlled substance.

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT:
A deputy investigating reports of an assault in the area of Rincon Hill Road and Highway 150 on Dec. 17 found a vehicle pulled over with one man lying in fetal position in the ditch and another man, 47, on two feet at the scene.

Asked why the man was on the ground, the standing man said the man on the ground was his business partner and was suffering a schizophrenic episode. However, while he was telling his story, a woman reportedly tapped on the deputy’s shoulder and whispered new information. She said the man was fibbing and had boasted to her about assaulting the man on the ground, but the woman, who was described as a bystander, soon left without elaborating further.

The deputy asked the suspected assaulter to step aside and wait by the patrol vehicle while he examined the man on the ground. However, when the deputy lowered himself to check on the man on the ground, he found that the suspect was hovering over him. He ordered the suspect back to the bumper of the patrol vehicle, but he refused to budge. Eventually, the deputy tried to force him to comply, but the man was hard to move. The man reportedly said he knew his rights and wouldn’t follow the deputy’s command. Another deputy arrived and threatened the insubordinate suspect with a taser, which calmed him down.

The man on the ground was reportedly sobbing and bleeding from the nose. He and the suspect had left a store in Carpinteria and were headed to a spot where they usually pitch a tent, he said. They are transients and operate a woodcutting business together, he said. Their conversation on the ride from Carpinteria to their camping spot became heated when the man on the ground confronted the suspect about being too pushy and ordering him around while they worked. The suspect reportedly pulled over the vehicle and strangled his complaining colleague before jabbing at his eyeballs with his fingers. The victim never lost consciousness while having his neck wrung, he said. He explained that the blood on his nose was the result of a dog bite wound from the previous day coming unstitched. He wanted to make a citizen’s arrest. Deputies noted that both men smelled of alcohol and that the victim seemed genuinely fearful of his business partner.

When asked about the new information, the suspect denied it all, and stood by his statements about schizophrenia. He removed a cell phone from his pocket and told deputies he was dialing the victim’s mother so she could back him up on the schizophrenia claims. The mother, however, was confused about the conversation and deputies ended the call.

Deputies arrested the suspect for assault, but he didn’t go down easy. Two officers were needed to force the man into cuffs.

OTHER REPORTS:
Burglary: Via Real
Driving under the influence: Palm Avenue
Possession of synthetic narcotics: Cramer Road
Public intoxication: Yucca Lane, Cameo Road
Theft: Whitney Avenue, Carpinteria Avenue, Casitas Pass Road
Under the influence of a controlled substance: Carpinteria Avenue, Dahlia Court
Vandalism: Carpinteria Avenue,
Warrant arrest: Via Real

http://coastalview.com/police-beat-2012#/a/drawer/pages/921